Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Long Distance

It has taken most of the summer for the reality of what's about to happen to sink in. I'm moving over a thousand miles away from my home of six years and my boyfriend of three years. The office is empty around me, except for impressions of the furniture in the carpet and an anxious spider on an exodus for cover. I just started packing but I'm almost done already--maybe the next four days won't be as hurried and busy as I anticipated. Which could be good or bad. Andy has finals this week, so we won't have much time together either way, not until Friday, when we'll start the twenty seven-hour drive.

It's been a tough summer--it's not a good time to be waiting tables. I'm thrilled that I only have two or three more shifts to work and then I get a year-long hiatus. Plus, with Andy taking Organic Chemistry and working a lot, we haven't had much time together in general. I do feel like we're doing well with what time we have, though. We're always hungry for each other, as though extra cuddling now will make up for physical absence later. When I start to think about being away from Andy at all, let alone for days, weeks, and months at a time, I hyperventilate a little. We haven't been apart for more than two weeks at a time since we met. I really don't know how we'll cope with it, both individually and as a couple. He claims to fall a little more in love with me every day--and as cheesy as it is, I feel the same way. We've had our ups and downs, but we're in such a solid place now. It's a shame that everything has to change.

However, I am also very excited for what lies ahead. I intend to make the most of these three years. I would hate to find myself heading off the podium at graduation with nothing but a degree. I want to make significant progress in my writing. I want to have some publications by the time I leave. I want to have a solid idea of what kind of career I want to pursue. I want to develop strong habits of writing regularly. I have so much hope for this degree, so many expectations. Not so many for Tuscaloosa (since the other grad students call it "Tuscalooserville.") I'm always one to like new places, but I find that if I keep my expectations low, I'm more likely to be pleasantly surprised. I await the large insects and intense humidity with apprehension.

2 comments:

Doug, Jessica & Nixon said...

I'm sorry we weren't able to get together before you left (which I think was yesterday?) I hope your drive is safe and I hope you enjoy Alabama. But I agree with your saying... keep your expectations low and you might be pleasantly surprised... Or you might just hate it a lot like I did. Good luck! xoxo

C&A_Ellis said...

Im sorry too! I wanted to see you before you left! I have little to no control over my life now it seems....I hope things go well for you in Alabama!

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